we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
