OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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