btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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