your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
