Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
