They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
