Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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