Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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