do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
