I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
