so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
