if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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