Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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