I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize