Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize