Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize