Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
