Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
