I can text with my tongue
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
