We're facebook friends in real life
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
