Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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