the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
