I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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