Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Are we still banned from the library?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
