I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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