The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Randomize
