Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize