I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
