i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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