rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.