Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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