YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
