she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
