What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
