Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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