it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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