on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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