My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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