And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
