is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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