At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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