No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize