are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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