We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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