She's JV to your varsity
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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