He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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