Its about making memories worth repressing
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will be naked everywhere
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
