This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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