You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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