I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
