apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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