He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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