THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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