haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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