I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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