What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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