My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
