dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
