All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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